Aurora

I don’t meet problems head on, and the result is wasted time

Rochelle — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 05:58:50 +0000

But it is time wasted not through ”not meeting problems head on” per se, but elongated thinking patterns that eventually disintegrate due to being of a longer duration than normal – this is to be differentiated from time wasted because it is used for the wrong purpose… no, all my time is used productively, it’s just that the productivity in a “normal” amount of time is low.

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Monday, 13th April, 2009

Rochelle — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 05:40:18 +0000

I’ve started a food diary, a different one this time, one in which I actively make comments on what I’ve consciously and deliberately chosen to eat. It’s working all right I suppose. I suppose the white rice vs brown rice issue will sort itself out. It’s just that brown rice is so damn hard to cook. After I finish writing in this blog I might phone Cherie. On second thoughts, I should be able to function on my own. I certainly had a lot of practice with that after Meghana moved away.

A once in a lifetime occurrence – they’re playing “Killing Me Softly” by the Fugees. I remember that was a part of my mix tapes in the ‘old days’ though I can’t remember the song that followed the abruptly cut-off version of this song.

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HEY THERE

Rochelle — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 01:11:09 +0000

I’m just listening to MusicMax’s Top 1000 80s vs 90s countdown. They’re currently playing bloody “Like a Prayer” by Madonna. My mum’s watching it but she doesn’t seem to get the controversial content in it. Now they’re playing “Heart – Shaped Box” by Nirvana. Always makes me think of Turkish Delight lollies. As you can see, I’ve got food on the brain.

Just asked mum for an easter egg from the basket Marina and Darren gave (I thought, to us). It was a mistake because (of course) the basket was only meant for Mum and Dad. Oh well. There’s still the brownies to eat after lunch as dessert. I’m sort of reforming (I think). I think it’s more that I’m used to eating compulsively rather than making an active decision about what I eat.

A good sign- my stomach muscles actually hurt after my 78 minute run yesterday. Hopefully soon I’ll have a smaller stomach.

Hey again. They just played “The Boys of Summer” by Don Henley. Not traditional cute teen boy band music, but it certainly is fulfilling. I love Don Henley! And he made it to number #121 on the top 1000 countdown.

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hourglass?

Rochelle — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 00:37:24 +0000

I managed to convince mum to use her digital camera to take a picture of me from the back, side and front. I then compared my shape to the ones in the “Body Shape Bible” and managed to figure out that of the 12, I’m most like the Hourglass figure type. Mum’s a column I think. Micantoy- I’m not sure. Anyway tomorrow the op shop will finally be open and boy am i ever going to raid it.

Another update – I’ve discovered I’m a warrior body type for the body code diet and exercise program. Ran 78 minutes yesterday for the endurance run and 63 minutes today for the regular run. Think I’ll run 7 times a week, meaning Sundays included.

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Saturday, 11th April, 2009

Rochelle — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 02:26:18 +0000

I’m reading “The Body Shape Bible” by Trinny and Susannah and it’s great! I’ve discovered I’m a lollipop body type, minus the long neck. But maybe that’ll change with my new diet, the A.J. Rochester one. I managed to keep away from the icecream so far: but it’s only twelve – thirty!

I won’t bother to list my stresses- they’ll just stress me out, pardon the weak joke. As for confusing issues, well, let’s just say that what I know but don’t express won’t generally hurt anyone…unless they were really asking for it.

One issue- why does Dad discourage me from asking for special consideration? Not asking was exactly what kept my stress levels high last year. Anyway, enough about that.

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Nothing more Macabre

Rochelle — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 04:26:35 +0000

There is nothing more macabre than my existence at this point. I wield a minimum of control and am subject to a maximum of stress. I’m pretty sure I’m not mentally ready for anything out there in the big wide world.

Sure I’m functioning as I was naturally some time ago, and in terms of the future, as well as I was ever meant to be, but sometimes I loathe my own unintentional mimickry of others, my inability to be true to myself and my … can’t finish that thought.

Anyway, back to weight loss, I hope to lose my chin, stomach and neck.

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Back on the diet merry-go-round — or not?

Rochelle — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 04:11:09 +0000

Hey there I bought a book recently by A.J. Rochester called “The Lazy Girl’s Guide to Losing Weight and Getting Fit”. I figure since it’s primarily psychological it might help me. The ironic thing is I ate four scoops of icecream, not to mention 2 tbsps of jelly, when I was reading it. I have no clue as to what will make me have the willpower to resist my favourite foods. Probably the “a little bit of this ‘n’ that” method. Ont other topics- proceed to next post.

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The Last Unicorn

Rochelle — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 04:12:35 +0000

OK, I just wanted to say that I experienced a flashback to childhood fears when the power got shut off abruptly yesterday night. I froze in mid deodorant-rolling and got on my hands and knees, trying not to let my newly-washed and hanging-loose hair touch the floor. I tried pulling out and pulling in the plugs, but to no avail. Suddenly my fear of “the red bull” (I won’t capitalise it for fear of making it seem more real) hiding underneath my bed came back, and I didn’t want to venture out into the hall to switch my room light on, because I was afraid I would come face to face with him or something. Anyway,as it turned out there was a simple explanation, namely that the light above the stove had fused and got the power down. Anyway, that’s what brought The Last Unicorn to the fore in my mind.

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Tuesday, 24th March, 2009

Rochelle — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 01:05:55 +0000

I also went running at 7am for 60 minutes today, all the while listening to Blondie the Platinum Collection disc 1. Then me and Dad went to University of Sydney so I could pay my HECS fees. I felt quite dumb as my dad and the lady dithered (for want of a better word) about the tax deferred and other such things.

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A general update (Monday, 23rd March, 2009)

Rochelle — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 06:37:51 +0000

Things didn’t go too well today. This morning, I dropped one of my Abilify tablets on the floor and Stacey had to be “escorted”, to put it nicely, out before she could sniff it out. Then (and I dearly hope my Dad never finds out about this) I nearly lost my wallet. I dropped it in Vinnies just after I finished paying for my books. Luckily it was handed back to me, safe and sound, with all it’s contents intact. It reminds me of the time I left my wallet in church and I had to go to the presbytery to reclaim it. How embrassing, as Cherie would say.

Speak of the devil. I have to tell her I can’t make it tomorrow ’cause I have to go to Sydney University to pay my HECS fees. Talk about a ‘hex’.

By the by, I could not get a single note out of my flute last night at Church. But maybe it’s a blessing in disguise. I mean, I can’t stand mediocrity.

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